"You can’t have days where you feel unstoppable if you don’t have days where you feel like a literal slug, oozing in your desk chair, not capable or worthy of anything."
It is a Tuesday morning, and I find myself being deeply intimidated by my work week.
I’m not sure if it’s because we’re in the middle of a long development cycle, or because the winter is long and cold and dim and endless, or simply because I haven’t had breakfast yet - but right now, the idea of writing story and designing narrative for Beyond These Stars fills me with a deep sense of dread, quickly followed by a potent chaser of shame. The games industry is such a competitive field, and I’m incredibly fortunate and privileged to work in the position that I’m in. Beyond These Stars is a special game, made by a special studio inhabited by wonderful people - I love working on it! I have no right to feel this way.
But I do.
The creative journey is a wonderful one. Dear reader, if you haven’t made something before, I strongly encourage you to go do it! It doesn’t have to be a massive and perfect work of art - the act of doing, and finishing, is enough. You’ll probably find out something remarkable about The World, and yourself, along the way.
However, (and please don’t take this as me complaining - more commiserating and validating alongside my fellow devs and creatives) the creative journey is also very difficult. If you’re a regular around these parts, there’s a good chance you’ve heard our creative director Sam discuss it as well. There will be days where you feel almighty and unstoppable, like you’re at the top of the world and you’ve reached your peak as an Artist. Inspiration, motivation and discipline collide into one, creating your brain’s own version of The Big Bang, the strength of that collision culminating in productivity!
There will also be days where you proverbially crawl away from your desk, groaning and cursing yourself for not achieving everything you wanted to, or for not being able to solve the problem you have been beating your head against for a while (and “a while” here is subjective. Depending on the problem, “a while” can be a day or weeks, or make either of these periods of time feel very protracted).
But, it’s not all bad. You know that whole, “you can’t have one thing without the other” line of thought? It’s a similar story (haha, get it?) here. You can’t have days where you feel unstoppable if you don’t have days where you feel like a literal slug, oozing in your desk chair, not capable or worthy of anything.
Fortunately, Dear Reader, I have some tips and tricks for dealing with creative journey woes. I’m also writing these out to remind myself of what I can do when I feel sluggish, so thanks for being my vessel for a reminder. Many thanks to my wonderful colleagues, particularly Sarah, for helping me with many of these tips.
- Use a Pomodoro timer*. This well known time management technique has been around since the 1980s, and breaks work time up into intervals. I use an app on my phone to break up my work time into chunks. I work for 25 minutes, and then the app will tell me to take a 5 minute break, or a 15 minute break, depending on how many chunks of 25 minute periods I have done.
- Also! It’s very important that you do not do anything that will give you a dopamine hit while using the Pomodoro method. No checking your social media, nothing. What do I do on my breaks, you ask? Since I work from home, I have the luxury of doing yoga, getting food, doing some chores, or even just straight up lying on the floor and letting my brain wander for a while.
- *All of this said, if you’re neurodivergent, your mileage with the Pomodoro timer may vary - if this tip, or any tip that I’m writing about doesn’t work for you, don’t beat yourself up about it. Brains are mysterious things sometimes.
- Have small deadlines. Speaking of dopamine, you’ll want to break up all your tasks into small, manageable pieces. Completing a list of smaller tasks is a great way to motivate yourself, and feel like you’re actually achieving something.
- Change your workstation. Right now, I am writing this from my couch on my laptop, away from my usual desk and set up. I feel fresher already! The mind tends to love routine, so doing something outside of your norm is so good for you, and the grey, wrinkly little guy hanging out in your skull
- Indulge in your strengths. Am I meant to be writing a dev blog right now? No! But I’ve been working for long enough now to recognise when I simply need to pivot and do something I know I don’t struggle with at all. Enjoying yourself and achieving something cool quickly is a great way to motivate and inspire yourself.
- Find sources of inspiration. This is a very open ended one. For me, right now, I am playing Beyond These Stars to remind myself why I love it so much. The visuals, the music, the way the Peeps scurry around their little settlement… Ahhhh.
- Outside of the game, I’ve also been digging these wonderful documentaries about the deep sea and its various zones. In my mind, space and the deep sea share a lot of similarities, plus the narrator’s calm voice laid over some incredible footage makes my brain hum in a very specific way - simply fantastic writing inspiration. I also love listening to dark ambient, sci-fi esque sound scapes when I write for Beyond These Stars - it’s completely different to the music I’d usually listen to. So, take yourself on a journey and note down what inspires you, and fills you with wonder and a fire for creating.
- I want to mention, as well, that the thing you draw inspiration from doesn’t have to be something as obvious as playing your favourite game, either. I recall making a particularly delicious loaf of banana bread and marveling at the process of creating this fragrant, dense, sweet loaf of goodness - my wonder at mixing disparate ingredients and producing something wonderful for me and my partner to enjoy fueled my creative fire that week.
- Go outside. That’s right, you colossal nerd, you simply must take that derriere outside and feel the sun on your face, and thank the wind as it gently kisses your hands. You can’t just play World of Warcraft all day! Try and take notice of the little things you see, hear and feel. Focus on those moments, and see if you can marvel at the wonders of the world.
- Take up a hobby that is entirely unrelated to your creative endeavours, and don’t judge yourself if you’re bad at it. If you’re on computers all day like us, try to avoid something that uses a screen. Take care of your precious eyes!
- Find comfort in creatives. Talk to, or watch interviews with, other creatives - get that sweet, sweet reassurance and validation. I have a regular call with developers in New Zealand, and I swear to you, dear reader, every time I hear them speak it heals my soul - we are not alone in our struggles! As the kids say, they are just like me, for real.
- Get perspective. Being involved in the arts is important, and serious - but talking to people working in fields where they are doing work like, oh I don’t know, literally saving lives is deeply humbling and puts the privilege of being in the arts for a living into a harsh spotlight. Whenever I see my friends who are doctors and psychologists, I not only marvel at their brilliance and resilience but enter my work week feeling especially grateful for what I have.
- And last but not least - cultivate discipline, and don’t just rely on motivation. Out of all the tips I’ve listed, this is easily the hardest one, and the one that you will struggle with for the longest time, Dear Reader. This requires self discovery, introspection, struggle, experimentation, consistency, and habit. Make working on your creative endeavour as easy as possible for yourself - for some, this looks like doing yoga or going for a run first thing in the morning. For others, this can be rolling out of bed and jumping straight into work, even while you’re half asleep. For myself, I often literally force myself to do The Thing until I shape it into habit. From an objective standpoint, though, eating nutritious food, sleeping well, and exercising often will help you immensely.
Do you have any other tips? Thoughts, feelings and questions? Please pop into our Discord and let us know what you think!
Anyway, now that I’ve written a dev blog, my sense of dread has vanished and I’m ready to conquer the work week. Thank you for reading!
See ya round,
Emily
Narrative Designer & Games Writer
